perasaan bercampur baur

badan rasa letih sangat...fever makin naik....mata makin tak nampak...suara mcm nak ilang...
begitu lah keadaan saya bile demam....bile nak baek ni ??

hari ni wife PM Datin Endon meninggal dunia kerna barah payudara....Innalilah
berita yg agaks mengejutkan kerna ramai jangka dia dah beransur pulih...
namun ajal nya dah sampai dan kembali ke rahmatullah.....
Al-fatihah

Dgr khabar berita yg Ghafar Baba pun meninggal tapi rupanya dia sakit tenat je....
masih hidup...ya allah diminta panjang kan umurnya....Amin....

Bulan Ramadhan kali ni Allah seperti byk meragut kembali nyawa² umatnya...
It make me ponder for awhile....It might be my time without me knowing it....
Goshh....I hope I did good deeds in mylife and I hope if I die ,I wud hv the chance to say goodbye to my love ones b4 I go to 'His' Arms ....Wallahualam ...

malam ni we had the most happening conference in YM..
cuma sou je tak de..dia lambat masuk....
Endera pun ada :p saya gado2 manje ngan dia....huhuhuhuhu....
overall kira best coz dapat gaks otak saya bergerak...
kpala duk stone je hari ni....

esok abg fahmi kata VE ada charity thingy kat cheras for Anak2 Yatim...
I think I might go if Im feeling well or if Sarah nak pergi....
I might be the only one representing GP and HC ....
Im not confirm yet .....dah aa kena call AZRUL...tak ske2 *geleng2 kpala*

tak tau kenapa perasaan hari ni tak tenteram....Kepala otak duk memikirkan benda bukan2.....benda yg rasanya bukan masalah besar pun terjadi BESAR.....tolong la saya!!!
maybe coz demam ....perasaan tak menentu....
rasa marah,rasa sedih,rasa nak nangis,rasa 'down' sangat....
pastu jab happy...then sedih balik....happy....then rasa low sangat!!
alahai...period tak datng2 lagi nie...apa kena ngan aku nie....
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

tadi nak hilangkan rasa sedih...zaza tgk cite 'Cheaper By Dozen'
bukan ok...tetiba makin sedih...maybe sebab tgk family dorang mcm sangat 'berfamily'
dan berfikir kenapa zaza tak de hidup ber'family' ..
ada mama, papa dan adik2 satu rumah....
i never had that kind of feeling as a kid when i grow up..even now.....
walaupun za duk ngan cikna ,and i do feel like i HAVE a family but thats not what I want ....
im proud of myself that im closer to my mama now ...maybe coz she live just a few blocks away...
but entah laa...maybe if my family was 'perfect'
mylife wudnt be as miserable and messed up like this...
God damn!!! now i feel like crying....Im soo miserable right now!!

ok ..i think i better go to sleep...
nanti menangis tak tentu pasal.....
nite peeps!!!