stressed out

I'm havin the worst cramps in my life. I can't even stand or do anything. My back pains hurts so bad, sometimes I feel I wanna cry & scream ! But I did't take any medicine. I don't want to get used to taking pills everytime I'm sick or in pain unless its really, really unbearable to ignore.

Beside having this awful pains, there's a pain that are much more worst beyond imagination in my HEART. I'm really down. I'm just so sad to feel this way. I have no clue what to do right now. I don't want to change anything right now. I'm happy before. I am. But I thought having a relationship with someone supposed to make me excited, happy, delighted or whatsoever but I'm NOT. Its not because of my beau. He's kinda ok. But something else that happened with someone that make me feel like this.

I just dont understand whats the matter with him. Is it me who's feeling all this things? Things are getting real weird. I dont know how to solve this. I love him. Yes I do. but things will not change unless he do something bout it. I know the feelings are mutual but I cant be the one who has to ask. I hate this feeling. I HATE IT !! I just want things to be the same :'(

God please help me. I need to be calm again. I need to be happy again. I need him.

Maybe its a mistake for me to take the relationship with my new beau. Arghhh! I'm really stressed out now!